In Tangled. It is the name of this painting, but it explains so much now. I am entangled with this painting. I mean that. I am not only wrapped up in this painting, but I may be entangled in it in Quantum terms. The changes, the spin, the intent of this thing, this canvas, is some part of me, is it this from afar, mysteriously as Einstein might have suggested. I walk away but it changes in my head as I see it on the canvas and as it changes in the studio. It changes on its own now.
I have been working on it longer than ever anticipated. More than I hate it at times, I appreciate it. It is becoming sentient it. I am only helping it now, not creating it. I am helping it reach it’s own conclusion, I merely facilitate. It’s Ok though, this part too is a part I love. I want to move on, but can’t. Not yet.
This end of the image, this stage is what I think making music must be like. You play your instrument, but you get to a point where your fingers remember riffs on their own and your breathing anticipates passages. Together something original happens, something new. This is where music or the brush becomes your lucid dream, your creation you are riding, your movie being shot, the track you are laying down as you listen. You are in the audience of your own concert. This is no autopilot, it’s experiencing what you are working on, it’s active and passive, transcendent.
This may be the experience, or even the wine, but this guarantees nothing, namely quality. That argument begs debate, but over drinks with friends and maybe in another blog. Suffice it to say, getting to this point with a painting delivers a lot of satisfaction.
Is it done? No. When? No idea. When it speaks up I suppose.
I’m glad I got to paint tonight. Tomorrow is 19 hours of work straight and Saturday is at least 12-16 hours without rest with 4 hours of sleep between. That should effectively eliminate Sunday for anything. I have found welcoming Monday is more than tough, but I must trudge forward. Monday and Tuesday are painting nights so I have to come up with energy and positive vibes from somewhere.
I worked in Burnt Sienna Deep, Burnt Umber, Ocher, with a spit of Flake and a brush of Prussian for depth and primarily on the background.
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Learning to see this life with lenses, brushes, imagination and pretty much anything else I find.
1 comment:
here's the thing about blogs- no comments. who knows who is reading or skimming or whatever. the internet is a strange place and not as warm as the unconscious.
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